Full video of Tiger Woods’ apology, and his Siddhartha path

So Tiger Woods says in his apology today that he failed his Buddhism because it teaches us not to seek outside forces to give us internal happiness. Well, that's true. (I've been a Buddhist in training for 14 years. For me, it's not religious Buddhism, but a way of life, a philosophy. I'm also a non-practicing Unitarian with Jewish heritage. I've got a lot going on in my head and heart.)

Anyway, Tiger's right to say happiness is not necessarily an external thing. The only thing we own is our breath. If we are good at practicing Buddhism, we don't let outside forces bother or corrupt us so much -- and we don't bother and corrupt others. We get strong internally to find peace and happiness within, and to make choices in life that nurture ourselves and others.

However, and this is a big "however," as the once-destructive John Lennon said: "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." Buddhism recognizes that (as most philosophies and religions do).

That is, the path to enlightened happiness (being truly happy while not hurting others and ourselves) is fraught with obstacles we sometimes fail to grasp or deal with.

What's then important is to recognize A) when we fall, B) why we fall, and C) how to not fall in the same way again.

If you've ever read Hermann Hesse's "Siddhartha," you know Siddhartha's path to becoming Buddha is Tiger-esque. In his long life, Siddhartha lives like so many people live. Over the course of decades, he seeks happiness through drinks, drugs, sexscapades, power, reputation, false pride, lies, money-grubbing, narcissism and myriad impulsive paths in life before he finally, ACTIVELY seeks and grasps full peace in older age, but not without a cost of personal and familial troubles he caused along the way and must live with in the end.

What's great about the story of Siddhartha is it accurately reflects, in a composite way, how a person lives. The journey of a human is both tough and lovely.

Tiger says he failed the goals of Buddhism for several years by cheating on his wife. True. He has been living recklessly the way humans do. BUT if he advances in his path as Siddhartha did, Tiger will be able to see someday that his transgressions were a natural human failure, and that he overcame them.

While we may skeptically believe he will fail onward, I will say Tiger (if we take his current statements and actions at face value) is at least recognizing his failures and acting in some way to not fail again.

And that's more than I can say for a few people I've known, people who never changed their destructive paths -- destructive to themselves and to me and to others. As I always say, actions are more important than words. If your actions are destructive to others, your words mean less than zero, and you are also destroying your own happiness and perhaps your health.

To those of you who know you have been a destructive force: Don't you know you're maybe hurting yourself the most? You may think you're not. But you are. It's why your life is in chaos, or traumatic, or anxious. It's why friends and lovers and family members dump you. You might think it's too hard to change; it's easy to remain comfortable in reckless lies you're familiar with and "successful" with. But you're missing out on true happiness. You're hurting people who love you. And behind your back, I guarantee, everyone talks about what a crazy, lying jackass you are. Is that so appealing to you?

I could quote Shakespeare and therapists to try to convince Tiger-esque people to acknowledge their destructive paths and to start a course of self change. But people don't change destructive behaviors until they rationally view their actions accurately. Although, since I'm an entertainment columnist, I'll pick this one quote from a movie playing on HBO lately, "Ghost Town," in which one character says to a destructive guy, "You're gonna have to stop and ask yourself the ultimate question: This business of being such a ... prick, what is it really getting me?" 

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